What do dying people want

They may wonder what to expect when death is near. Rather than avoiding these concerns, acknowledge that they must be worrisome. Can I help you make a list of questions for the doctor? When death is near, close friends and family members may want to be present. This is a tender time requiring balance between the needs of the family and the wishes of the person. Ask who the person would like to have visit and how many guests would be appropriate at one time.

Keeping his or her wishes front and centre can provide a dying person with a sense of control at a very vulnerable time. The gathering of family and close friends becomes a quiet signal to all that death may be near. If the person wonders why you or others are present, explain that you want to be with him or her during this time. Direct questions deserve simple, direct responses. Ask the person if there is anyone he or she would like to talk to by phone, internet, or in person.

If you feel that you still have important things to say, consider the advice of Dr. Byock, the next four tips are things that dying people want to hear from their loved ones.

There is no need to fuss over small injuries or insults. However, when you are preparing to say a final goodbye, you may be bothered by regrets about hurtful words or actions, or ways you may have disappointed the dying person. Suggestions of help include:. No one can predict when that last minute will come so waiting for it puts a huge burden on you. Just talk, even if your loved one appears unresponsive.

Indications are that hearing is the last sense to shut down, so even when a person appears comatose and unresponsive, there is a strong likelihood they can still hear what you are saying. Speak from the heart. You may want to share memories or make sure your loved one knows you love them. A therapist or hospice social worker can help make conversations about dying easier. According to one widely-accepted theory, originally conceived of by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in , the five stages of coping with realizing you are going to die are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

As uncomfortable as it can be to acknowledge openly that a person you love is dying, it's important to realize that the person is most likely aware that they are dying, so you don't have to struggle with "breaking the news. Sign up for our Health Tip of the Day newsletter, and receive daily tips that will help you live your healthiest life. Visiting Nurse Service of New York. When someone you love is dying. Hospice Foundation of America. Signs of approaching death. Electrophysiological evidence of preserved hearing at the end of life.

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